Some Notions

Surprising, troubling vitriol from Jack today. Frankly, we expect this kind of profanity-filled jibberjab from Boat, but not the likes of "our Jack." Here's hoping for a crisper, more directed style to Clinomania in the future. Maybe Jack is just upset because we had to move a futon and then he had to sleep on the futon in the living room, where goblins live.

No news about giant snails today - if one searches the Interwebs for this subject, one is apt to find a great deal about role playing games, and the misleadingly named "giant african snail."

CHANGE IN EDITORIAL POLICY
A trip to the Natural History Museum led to a major editorial shift in this site's policy.

OLD Editorial Policy: Only reviews and critical examination of Clinomania/Bit Perspective, Junior Harrington, and any other blog that tickles the fancy.

NEW Editorial Policy: Reviews and critical examination of Clinomania/Bit Perspective, Junior Harrington, and any other blog that tickles the fancy. Also, discussion of the legendary giant slugs and snails of New Guinea and the South Pacific. Do they exist? Sightings? &c.

Apologies all around for the laziness of late in updating this site. The fact of the matter is I'm bored of the whole charade.

Anyway, Jack shares our enthusiasm for the New York Observer, and has some good thoughts on it and its imbalance of dog-news coverage. There was a front page article last week about a d-bag who is a "socialite." It's really magnificent that there's a major newspaper in New York that is a parody of itself. One thing Yang and I discovered is that all their editorial cartoons are parodies of movie ads. Also, I might be making this up but I'm pretty sure there was once an editorial in the Observer on the theme "restaurants should serve more shrimp." The Observer is like what a newspaper was like 100 years ago, with pointless articles about rich people that amuse and delight.

Jack also loves Karaoke Revolution, which is truly a grand diversion. Here's a thought: Jack often talks about his love for Japan and its insanity culture of adolescent girls. And he loves Karaoke Revolution. If only there was a way to combine these two loves that would be simultaneously hilarious and super-fun....oh wait. It occurs to one: JACK COULD GET OFF HIS ASS, AND BUY THE JAPANESE ADAPTER THING AND ONE OF THE 10 (TEN, MIND YOU!) J-POP EXPANSION DISCS FOR KARAOKE REVOLUTION AND WE COULD SING THE CRAZY JAPANESE SONGS ABOUT "SUPER LOVE!"

No one can argue that Jack is an excellent reader of newspapers. His "Things I Read Today" is a must-read for even the most casual Bit Perspective reader.

Jack at Clinomania recently posted a long consideration of Japanese girl magazines. Very entertaining. His enthusiasm shines through. Of particular interest is his brief mention of "a test to see how good you are at drawing." God knows how some clever assistant editor at AnAn designed such a test.

But most importantly, this post is an excellent example of what seems to be one of the major themes of Clinomania; namely, communication theory. Jack, and to a lesser extent Boat, frolic in the vast gap that exists between a conveyer of information and its recepient: cf. their examinations of the inability of TV network executives to understand audiences, and the dumbness of college essay writers. One might say that Jack and Boat delight in what is "lost in translation;" one might be a d-bag to say that. But all this talk about medium and message reminds one of the joke on "The Sopranos," where the writers named a character Marshall MacLuhan, and then introduced a meaningless nurse character who's only function was to point out what the writers had done.

Anyway, I have had the good fortune to go to Japan. And so I can report that Jack's post is pretty much meaningless, because all Japanese girls are too busy trying to figure out which soda is currently the hippest to read magazines and worry about their talk style.

A reader writes:

Dear SC,

I recently came across your thoughts on Civet cats. Though I certainly
sympathize with what you say, aren't you also a little worried about
the
people who have group execute the Civet cats? These people are putting
themselves at risk of catching SARS, a disease which is noteworthy for
not
being a big load of media hoo-haw and alarmism.

Get back to work,
Jack

Fair points all. But consider: an interested party to Somenotions once entrusted his parka to a colleague. Said colleague is one of these absent-minded sweethearts who needs his mittens sown on his sleeve. In any case, the bag holding the parka and a number of other things ended up in the care of some Cantonese people-truckers for several days. Upon recovery, the parka and all the other clothes were covered with a sickly Asian mold. The point is, China is full of strange diseases.

Also, Somenotions had never heard of civet cats before this SARS business, despite a love for odd wildlife. So I don't think anybody will miss these hideous plague monsters.

Readers are implored to look into the fact that coffee made from beans eaten and then excreted by civet cats is a delicacy in Vietnam and Indonesia. Somenotions asks: "Why not Laos?"

We take a break from our usual subjects, Clinomania and Junior Harrington, to offer some thoughts on Margaret Cho's blog, at www.margaretcho.net/blog/blog.htm.

Sweet heavens, it's terrible.

Regular readers will know that this site normally maintains tight discipline and posts only about what's on Clinomania or Junior Harrington, without allowing personal opinions or prejudices to get in the way. There are far too many weblo's out there that are just forums for fanatically opinionated people to spout off, or, worse yet, for people who can't even bother to develop an opinion, prattling on about whatever nonsense happens to pop into their noggin. This site was founded with the intention of providing careful analysis and commentary on a select sample of 'blo's, and not to add to the clattering cacophony of bloggery.

But today, an exception is made, as there is one matter about which I have a strong opinion:

I SURE AM GLAD I'M NOT A CIVET CAT!

Dear SC,

Cheers! I just wanted to remind of you of a 1999 Pauly Shore
direct-to-video
venture entitled "First Son." Although in the film in question, the
President's blood progeny was a female, the film centered around the
comical
misadventures of the President's son-in-law, a likeable but rascally
goof
who couldn't seem to get himself out of trouble. I don't want to give
away
the ending, but First Son wins over his father-in-law, and there are
some
international crises. (Crisises? I'm sorry, but I don't have access to
the
internet dictionary right now; I'm on my Blackberry.)

Anyway,
FUCK YOU,
Jack


Further pursuant to your comments of the fifth day instant, I most
certainly
did not "post remarks critical of Mandy Moore." If I may quote the
referenced article of the twenty-second day ultimo:

"I ... am ... getting pretty excited about ... Chasing Liberty. I
really ...
like ... to eat ... eleven-year-old girls ... on a lot of different
levels."

Cordially,
Jack


Correspondence from an interested party. A good point about Pauley Shore here and one well taken. An additional question one might ask is: When will there be a movie in which a dictator has a troublesome daughter who loves American rock music and Canadian freedom and effects changes on society with a sk8r boi-friend?

Jack offers a long post today. Posts such as these, with lots of "meat on the bones" as it were, are a real treat. Vince Van Patten, as I know you read this weblo' in order to save the time required by Clinomania, here is a summary:
You are made to be a "boner."

Apologies to any regular readers who feel duty has been neglected at Somenotions over the holidays. New Year's Resolution: More thorough critical analysis of Clinomania and Junior Harrington.

However, it's disappointing to see that Jack and Boat took advantage of a holiday truce to post remarks critical of Mandy Moore.

If anyone can think of a movie in which a President had ONLY a son, NOT INCLUDING FIRST KID, please let me know. It seems that fictional Presidents only have daughters.

(posted by guest blogger Daniel Drezzner)