Some Notions

The premier journal of http://clinomania.blogspot.com criticism.

Thursday, February 26, 2004


The Annual Clinomania Conference for Scholarship will be held next weekend. All accredited scholars and researchers on Clinomania matters are invited to attend. Keynote speaker will be SC, who will present his paper on "The Casual and the Formal: Thoughts about Clinomania."

But the highlight will be our visit to the National Museum of the American Indian here in New York City. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Surely, there must be some wonderful and interesting exhibits at that museum. Perhaps they might not have something fascinating right at this minute, but surely between now and January 9, 2005, they'll have something I want to see. I mean, there are so many options, like they could have an exhibit called 'War Weapons of the Arawak,' which I'd like to see, or 'Heyoka Clowns of the Plains Tribes,' or 'Did the Mohawks Really Invent the Mohawk?' or 'Ritual Dog Eating Among the Haida.' There are seemingly infinite options for exhibits about Native American life and culture that would be both interesting and informative, so no doubt they'll have something like 'Animal Drawings Done By Indians' or 'What's the Deal With Wampum?' or 'Arapahos: How Did They Poop?' or 'Crazy Gods the Navajos Believe In' or 'Awesome Stuff About Indians Who Were Awesome.'"

However, I have some bad news for you. From now until January 9, 2005, the only thing you can learn about at the National Museum of the American Indian is baskets.
posted by SC  # 1:04 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Do you really expect us to review Clinomania's Gina Gershon-Claire Forlani dyke romp? It's a self-contained work of mastery, like Ulysses, or Pat Monahan of Train's recording of "Signed Sealed Delivered" or Gattaca. Love it or hate it, it is a work that must be FELT.

However, we felt the virtuosity of the writing occasionally got in the way, if you will. As has been pointed out before, Jack straddles the fine line between Greatest Prose Stylist of Our Generation and a crazy guy scrawling nonsense in a notebook. He must focus. We give to him the advice Gertrude Stein gave Hemingway: write another novel, and this time CONCENTRATE.

This line was the best: I'm hungry, and it smells like someone has cooked up some pie." She snuck up behind Gina Gershon and laid her hands on her steaky mams.

What Jack excels at are compressions of words that overwhelm the reader, who cries out "too much!" and laughs as snowball upon prose snowball is heaved at him. Which makes him well suited to written pornography.
posted by SC  # 11:27 AM (0) comments
Fair readers- Apologies for delays and lack of posts on this site. The problem is a technical one: I keep forgetting my password.

To make it up to you, here are the results of a staff challenge held here at Somenotions. The goal: to write joke lines to complete each one of the set-ups for Jim Mullins' Hot Sheet for the current week. The writers had 10 minutes to complete this task. Here is the winning entry. [Note that competitors were instructed to write in the manner of Jim Mullins.]

Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie have signed on to do a second season of “The Simple Life.” In this one, they live in Saddam’s rathole.

Diana Ross will spend two days in jail on a DUI conviction. So if you get arrested for driving drink, you either end up in jail or in the White House.

There’s a lot of sales for President’s Day. It’s the perfect time to buy a present for your intern.

Janet Jackson was wearing a metal nipple shield attached by a piercing. That was going to be David Blaine’s next stunt!

A group of 100 skirt-wearing men marched for acceptance in Manhattan last week. And 100 naked guys in Central Park didn’t even notice.

In the new movie “50 First Dates,” Drew Barrymore forgets she met Adam Sandler. I sure wish I could forget “Happy Gilmore.”

The NBA All Star Game was last week. The audience was full of lawyers looking for work.

A Massachusetts court says gays have the right to get married. But just to keep things fair, straight people now have the right to become choreographers.

Mike Tyson had only $5,553 in his bank account as of Dec. 31. So, about as much money as A-Rod makes for lacing his shoes.

A pilot on an LA- NY flight asked all the Christians to raise their hands. Then he led them in a blessing of their complimentary peanuts.

ANYWAY: Office hijinks aside, we proceed to our business, which is reviewing Clinomania.

Boat delights with a rare entry about Korean amusement parks. The author of this site once had the good fortune to visit Fuji Nikko Edo-mura in Japan. Sadly, their website, thus: http://www.jidaimura.co.jp/web2003/nikko/ is entirely in Japanese. But visitors to Japan are encouraged to make a side-trip to this scenic spot in Nikko's wooded hills. Visitors to Edo-mura are met by Nyan-mage, a giant cat who enjoys eating rice-balls. Then, they are forced to watch a 20 minute movie in which Nyan-mage fights off an enormous spider creature with the help of various other anthropomorphized beasts. Then a girl falls in love with Nyan-mage, but he must refuse her because he is a giant cat, and his giant cat genitals might harm her, and also he loves only rice-balls. In this way, Nikko Edo-mura was founded, and thanks to the heroism of its founders, the amusement park was created, and Japanese children are free to come in and go to the Ninja House to see Ninja Magic.

The point is, Clinomania has done an excellent job of finding and presenting yet another example of the oddities and English mis-steps of our Asiatic cousins, and should be applauded for it.

posted by SC  # 11:16 AM (0) comments


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